Felicity's Birth

About nine months ago, I got an unexpected call from one of my best friends, Tara, telling me she was pregnant!! Tara and her husband live in Canada, so it's not super easy keeping in touch, but through email and phone conversations here and there, we were able to discuss her pregnancy and what she wanted for her birth. It was such a joy to be able to share my birth story with her, encouraging her to be confident in her Creator and in her body, and not to be fearful! It was also a huge blessing to get to spend some time with her when they came home to visit over the summer. Tara chose to go with a group of midwives (who happen to be abundant up in Canada!), and to deliver in a hospital. She also hired a wonderful doula :)

Here's her story...

"Tuesday, September 27th Clinton and I woke up to a beautiful sunny day at around 7 a.m. I had gotten up around 4:30 in the morning, felt a bit of discomfort in my tummy, but was able to go back to sleep for a bit. Clinton got ready for work and I told him that I would give him a call if things felt different or more intense. So he left and I jumped in the bathtub. I called my good friend Kimo, who is a doula in Illinois, and asked her if what I was feeling might be signs of early labor. She thought that they were and I before I hung up the phone I told her that if I didn’t call her at 1:00 for our scheduled chat she would know why! :o) I then called my doula, Vivian, who we hired in Calgary. She agreed that I was showing signs of early labor and told me to call her whenever I was ready to meet her at the hospital. I called up Clinton and asked him if he would come home, he had only been at school for a half hour. He got home around 9:00 and by this time I was feeling the waves of contractions. Before he got home I had also called my mom and my sister-in-law, Michelle, to tell them that I was in labor and to be praying!

I tried to keep myself busy, cutting my nails and shaving my legs, but as we started timing my contractions we found them to be coming almost every three minutes and lasting 30-40 seconds. Clinton paged our midwife team and Nadine told him that those were pretty close together, and she wanted them to last about a minute to know that active labor was in effect. She was making a house call but would be coming over right after. She showed up somewhere around 11:30 and checked me out only to find that I was already 8 cm dilated. :o) So… a decision had to be made whether we were going to go to the hospital or stay home. Nadine told me that everything was going fine, she had listened to the baby’s heartbeat and said we could stay at home if I wished or go to the hospital, whichever I preferred, it was my choice. I had my hospital bag packed (3 weeks earlier) and had written in my birth plan that that was where I would deliver. I started getting dressed and Clinton told Vivian (doula) to head to the hospital to meet us there. There were no rooms at the Foothills hospital (only 10 minutes away) so we would be going to Rocky View (about a 40 minute drive). I sat at the top of the stairs having another strong contraction and I thought- I don’t know if I can do this in the car. Thinking that I was already 8 cm, who knows how long the rest of my labor would be and why would I want to spend an uncomfortable 40 minutes in the car going through active labor. So I decided to stay home. I had an emergency stash of supplies- garbage bags, old towels, wash cloths- ready to go just in case. I was also comfortable about the idea of a homebirth, not worried about complications because I knew the midwives were skilled enough to let me know if there was any reason for concern and we would need to go to the hospital. The only thing that worried me was the potential mess, which didn’t really happen due to my prepared supplies and all of the things the midwives carry in their car in the event that we do a home birth.

Clinton helped me work through some more intense contractions and also put a focal point in front of me on the bathroom sink; it was the Willow statue I gave him when I told him I was pregnant (a dad holding a little baby and the mom kneeling beside them). As I sat on the toilet (my birthing stool) :o) I kept my gaze on the little baby, that looked like a little peanut, and inside kept telling myself that each contraction was getting me closer to meeting my little one! Vivian arrived around 12:30 and joined right in. She massaged my neck and her and Clinton took turns refilling my water and putting cool cloths on my neck and forehead. Her gentle nature was soothing and her encouraging words continued to help me relax and focus on my goal. After a while I moved to the bathtub…not to have a water birth, just to ease some of the pain. :o) Clinton became my birth stool and sat in his bathing suit on the edge of the bathtub while I propped myself up on his legs and went through a few more heavier contractions. Nadine stayed out of the way, getting things set up for the delivery and continuously checking the baby’s heart rate to make sure things were good. But she also gave me encouraging words through my contractions, telling me I was doing a good job and telling Peanut to come out soon because mommy wants to meet you! The only times Clinton left my side was to go to the bathroom and grab a small snack. While he was eating a fruit bar and the wrapper was crinkling I asked him, in my most polite “contraction” voice…do you think you could eat that later. Ha ha… the funny thing is that when Vivian was going through the snacks I packed I asked her if she could pass me the Swedish berries, which she eagerly handed over! In between contractions I was munching on Swedish berries, my favorite candy- BIG SURPRISE, eh? :o) While in the tub, the other midwife, Claire, arrived and the first thing she said to me was “you’re going to have your baby in the sunshine!” as the light was coming in through the bathroom window. It really was a gorgeous day!

[So peaceful, just before pushing]

Nadine asked me if I wanted to move to the bed and since I’ve never pushed before she would coach me through that. Claire came in as a support and gave me position advice and also made me laugh when the Doppler gel splashed in her eye. She also warmed up some wash clothes with lavendar and put them on my feet…the aromatherapy was refreshing and calming! In the background the IPOD was playing Celtic Women which was soothing Irish music that Claire said was a nice way to welcome my baby. As I laid in bed, Clinton and Vivian held my hands and pushed on a pressure point on my shoulders in between my pushing to speed up contractions. Nadine guided me on how and when to push and breath. Everyone had such encouraging comments... Clinton- "I love you, I'm proud of you" and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” – he repeated that to me in English and in Spanish several times throughout the whole labor. Vivian – “you’re doing great, nice rhythm in your breathing!” Nadine – “good job, love!" Claire – “that’s good, take your rest, keep breathing.” I kept thinking to myself, this is painful, but I am handling it. It is not at all what I thought it would feel like, it’s not THAT bad! Crazy, I know…but God truly was giving me the strength and the peace to just allow my body to do what He created it to do. After a little while of pushing Nadine had me reach down and feel the head….so amazing!!! At this point I knew I was going to meet my baby very, very soon! Vivian took a video of Clinton and me saying one last thing before we were going to meet baby Peanut. Then after another good push the head was out…you could see the full head of dark hair and in my next push the rest was out. I pushed for a total of 40 minutes, some in the bathtub and the rest in bed. They placed the baby right on my chest face down and Clinton and I rejoiced in the new arrival of our child! Clinton said “I’d like to call you by name but I don’t know what you are.” So I lifted Peanut up to inspect and said “It’s a girl, her name’s Felicity!” Then just to make sure I asked “It’s a girl, right?” and Nadine and Clinton moved the umbilical cord out of the way and confirmed it… ha ha! :o)

The next few moments were the most special in the world! Clinton was crying, I was too overjoyed to cry (I didn’t cry at all during my labor)! We listened to the new screams of Felicity Catherine and we laughed together at the sight of our beautiful baby girl! She wasn’t all cleaned up yet, but she was so perfect and warm as she laid on my chest and in not too much time was already looking to nurse. :o) Claire helped me out with the football hold and some breastfeeding tips.

I asked Nadine if there was any tearing and she said that looking carefully at things, she would feel more comfortable if we went to the hospital for suturing there. To keep this part short, I had a third degree tear. There’s no specific reason that can determine why I tore the way I did. The doctor that did my stiches said it happens to 1 in 1000. She was the best OB at that hospital, according to Nadine, and she did things quickly and very well. I was happy that Nadine was honest and wise enough to tell me that we needed to go and get things done at the hospital since it was such a rare and bad tear. It was definitely not expected to do things so backwards- have a home birth, then have to go to the hospital, but it actually made me feel SO grateful for the fact that I had Felicity at home. I was so relaxed and that’s why everything went so quickly. I was comfortable in my bathroom, my bathtub, my bed. I had a great team supporting me. The sunshine, music, focal point, and snacks were all helpful tools to aid in a relaxing and rewarding delivery! The trip to the hospital was the worst part of the day, but the fact that the three of us got to sleep in our bed (a birthing bed :o) our first night as a family was so awesome. I'm still amazed at how great Felicity’s birth was! Praise God!!!"

[Tara and her birth team (minus Clinton): her doula, two midwives, and of course baby Felicity]

What a story!!

As I heard bits and pieces of the story from them, I was so suprised and amazed at how her birth unfolded! For instance, how FAST it all happened!! I swear I couldn't even tell she was in labor (by her voice) when she called me at 9 in the morning, and she was 8CM by 11:30? WHAT!!? I had talked to her during the weeks leading up to her birth, and she was just so at peace about her impending labor. Totally calm and confident, with not a trace of fear or worry in her. And I'm sure that her heart's demeanor contributed to her speedy labor.

She e-mailed me later in the morning letting me know that her midwife was on her way over "just to check on me." What a dream! Your midwife coming to your house just to see how you're doing? So cool.

And obviously, the biggest shocker of all, that she made the decision, while she was in labor, to have this baby at home!! What an absolute privilege to have that kind of flexibility with her midwives. She actually called me about a week before her due date asking me what I thought about homebirth, saying that she and Clinton were considering it, but would probably stick with the hospital. The fact that she had the ability to make that kind of a decision so close to the end of her pregnancy (let alone in the middle of labor!) astounded me.

Just hearing about how encouraging everyone was to her, how each member of her birth team had just the right words at just the right time, was so incredible. I truly believe that everything that was orchestrated together for her birth contributed to her smooth, fast, labor, and her ability to cope with it so well. I could not be more happy for Tara and the beautiful, peaceful birth she was blessed with.

And as for our next birth, someone box me up and ship me to Canada ;)

A Summer in the Life of a Doula

Wow!  It's been a long time since I've posted here... probably because I've been at BIRTHS all summer!!  I had a wonderful three months of doula-ing, and last week was my final follow-visit for my last birth of the summer.  Here's a recap of what I've been up to (with names changed) ...

May's birth
In April (I know that's not technically summer, but it was such an awesome birth that I wanted to throw it in :), I had the privilege of attending an incredible and insanely FAST vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean)!!  May had gone into her first birth as most moms do, not really educating herself about labor and birth, and she ended up having "the works" in the hospital.  Pitocin, epidural, c-section.  I loved May so much because she took the traumatic experience of her first birth and used it to change and grow and become a stronger woman.  And let me tell you--she is strong.  Her entire labor was LESS THAN THREE HOURS and completely intense the ENTIRE time.  It was actually kind of funny, because we had spent so much time prenatally preparing for a totally "zen" type of labor, with calming visualization and relaxation techniques, and we used absolutely none of it.  But it was awesome.  She called me at about 1pm, saying that her water broke, I met them at the hospital at about 3pm, and baby was born at 3:22.  It. Was. Insane.  And completely beautiful. 

Christine's birth
Christine's water broke at 10pm about a week before her due date--the first week of May.  She and her husband, Jeremy, worked through early labor at home for most of the night, and met me at the hospital at 8am.  She was definitely in early active labor, having to concentrate through each contraction.  I loved supporting this couple because they worked so well together, Jeremy supporting Christine with the relaxation exercises they had been practicing at home during her pregnancy.  As labor got more intense, it took everything she had to make it through each contraction.  It was an incredible effort for her to even speak, she kept alternating between too hot and too cold, and was nauseous the entire time.  She experienced several moments of self-doubt ("I can't do this for hours and hours!), but pushed through it all with incredible endurance.  Early in pushing, the doctor took a look at her perineum and told us, "Look how tight this is, we are going to need to cut this."  Nevertheless, I coached Christine to keep all those muscles down there relaxed, and to keep her jaws and hands open (per Ina May's "Sphincter Law").  And wouldn't you know it, she opened up just fine, and birthed her baby without even a tear!!  The whole birth was just so rewarding.

Julie's birth
In early July, I had the amazing privilege of attending the second birth of my very first clients!  Julie's first birth was incredibly long (water broke, no contractions, pitocin, hard labor for 8 hours, only 1cm dilated, epidural, rest, FULL DILATION, and two hours of pushing!), and quite the initation to being a doula!  But while spending all that time with her we bonded quite a bit, and became good friends after that.  She was SO hoping to go into labor naturally this time around, but due to some complications in her pregnancy, her doctor wanted to induce her early.  This was my first planned induction, and it was quite different.  The pitocin didn't really do anything the first day, so they turned it off at night and gave it a go again in the morning, this time breaking her water.  That got things moving along, and soon contractions became really painful.  It was such a cool experience coaching her through these contractions, knowing what worked well for her with her first labor.  She eventually opted for the epidural again, knowing firsthand how difficult labor was for her with a broken water bag and pitocin.  Pushing went much smoother this time, and she pushed her second baby boy out in to the hands of his daddy!!  (The doctor had him put on gloves to catch the baby!  So crazy!)  In spite of all the unwanted interventions, it was so good to support Julie and Kevin through their second birth.  What an honor!

Nola's birth
This was probably my favorite birth yet.  It was also my longest (second only to Julie's first!), and most challenging.  Actually, there is so much that I want to say about it that I'll save it for another entry.  Stay posted!  It's a good one!

Jamie's birth
Finally, in August, I had my last birth of the summer.  Jamie had been hoping and preparing for a natural birth, staying at home for as long as possible, and laboring in their secluded outdoor hot tub.  Unfortunately, she had tested positive for Group B Strep, which meant that if her water broke, they would want her to get to this hospital right away.  Which is what happened.  When they got to the hospital, the nurse started pitocin, and I arrived shortly thereafter.  Labor wasn't too painful at first, but quickly intensified and she needed lots of support.  We tried different positions and relaxation techniques, and definitely utilized the shower a few times.  She was laboring beautifully, and was doing a great job with her relaxation, and getting into a rhythm as labor got more difficult.  She made it to 6cm, labored for a couple of more hours, and was still at 6cm.  She had had enough, and chose to get an epidural.  This allowed her to get some rest (it was about 11pm and she had been in pitocin-induced labor ALL day), and was completely dilated at around 3 in the morning.  She pushed like a CHAMP for 2 hours in all different positions, but the baby was not budging.  The doctor recommended a c-setion, which she agreed to, and after quite a rough procedure her baby boy was born (they discovered that he was OP, or "sunny-side up," which is why he wasn't moving through the birth canal.  Babies can definitely be born in this position, but this little guy didn't want to budge).  The doctor had arranged for me to go into the operating room to sit with Jamie while they stiched her up (since dad would go with baby to the nursery).  This was a very cool experience, as I got to be with her as she saw her baby and kissed him for the first time, and as dad got to hold him.  It was such a surreal and sweet moment.  And it was such a joy that I was able to be with her for the next few hours, rubbing her shoulders and neck, and just making sure that she knew she was cared for even though things obviously didn't turn out as planned. 

All in all, I'd say it was a pretty awesome summer in the birth department.  I don't have any clients lined up for the immediate future, and I have to say that it feels AMAZING to not be on call.  And while I'm taking a litttle break from births, I'm working together with some very talented friends on a super-amazing, top secret project, that will hopefully be ready for the public sometime late this fall...  I can't wait to show you!

The Big Nurse-In and Other Thoughts

Last week, a friend of mine was harassed and kicked out of a local resale shop for breastfeeding her baby.

In response, the Crunchy Moms of DeKalb (a local mothering group I helped pioneer last summer), organized a "nurse-in." (Just typing those two words together makes me smile :). Unfortunately, Greg and I had already made plans and were on our way out-of-town Thursday morning, the day of the nurse-in, but I was cheering all those mamas on in spirit, and through facebook.

Driving along Rte 64, I called my mom to check in about a few things, and to share the excitement of the impending nurse-in with her. I was laughing with excitement and just the pure hilarity of it all, but quickly sobered up as she expressed concern and even mild disgust about the whole thing (she had read the article about it in the paper that morning)...

My mom. MY mom was on the other end of the line tell me how inappropriate it is for a mom to nurse uncovered in a public place. My mom, who was with me when I nursed Lucy for the first time in the hospital. My mom, who watched me nurse (covered) in her home, at coffee-shops, and at restaurants. My mom, who cheered me on as I put together our nursing pumpkin display at Pumpkinfest last fall. MY mom, who nursed ME when I was a baby!

Now, don't get my wrong--my mom is an awesome lady. Actually, the fact that she is awesome and has a problem with open nursing got me thinking. That the mother of a crunchy-granola-lovin', tree-hugging, garden-growing, nature-loving, one-grain-short-of-a-hippie daughter would still have a problem with this sort of thing.

And it got me thinking about my pre-mommy days, when I, too, was a little appalled when I saw or heard of a mother nursing her baby without a cover. Even after I had Lucy, though I had no problem nursing her in public, I always did it with my trusty hooter-hider covering me and my tiny baby. At church, I even retreated to the sectioned-off area in the nursery designated for nursing moms only. (Why I felt comfortable nursing Lucy at Borders but not at church is beyond me, and probably worthy of its own blog post...).

I have really grown a lot in my understanding and appreciation of the breastfeeding relationship since becoming a mother, and especially since becoming a party of the Crunchy Moms. Just being around other moms nursing comfortably and openly around each other in a public place has been so liberating! I'm sure with our next child I'll be even more open and comfortable with nursing in public.

But then I think again about my mom, and so many others who have just not been exposed enough to breastfeeding as a beautiful, normal, and essential activity, and have been exposed too much to breasts as strictly sexual objects.

With Lucy, I used my cover for modesty, yes, but mainly for the benefit of others--to avoid awkwardness and making them feel uncomfortable. Really, the last thing I want is to cause a big scene or to be looked upon as some sort of lactation extremist who has no regard for others around her. But the first thing I want is for our community and our culture to look kindly upon breastfeeding mothers, even when the breastfeeding happens in public.

And what better way to influence our culture for the better than to be a living example of the beauty of the breastfeeding relationship, just like my friend was doing last week??

I have no idea. Thoughts?

A Week of Birthy Goodness

I have had the best week.

It started off Thursday evening with a panel discussion/presentation by five AMAZING women (including, hopefully, my future midwife!! I <3 her :). Saturday, I took part in "Birth Matters: A Whole Life Event" at The House Cafe where I was blessed with a looong but super fun day of great conversation, networking, and meeting other moms and moms-to-be in our community! DeKalb's little community of natural birth and holistic living professionals is definitely taking off, and it's so fun to be a part of it!

To top off my awesome week, I'll be presenting at the Sycamore Library this Thursday at 6:30pm at a "Meet the Doulas" event, presented by the Whole Life Education Center (more on this center coming soon!). If you're free this Thursday, stop on by! I'd love to see you :)

Extremely Normal.

(names changed for the protection and privacy of the family and midwife)

Sometimes I wonder what runs through most people's minds when they hear of couples who choose homebirth.
Hippies.
Unsafe.
Reckless.
Selfish.
Extreme.

Those are certainly the kinds of thoughts I had long before my childbearing days. And my hunch is that the average person is quite similar. But while I was participating in my first homebirth this past weekend, I was struck by how normal it all seemed.

I was the first one to arrive at Mark and Karen's house at 12am Sunday morning. A post-it on the door read "come on in," and Mark came downstairs to greet me. It was dark, quiet, and peaceful. Karen was upstairs in their bedroom in early active labor (she had been contracting since 5am). She looked really good in-between contractions, and asked if she could get me anything (the true spirit of a mother!). I noticed her tensing up and straining her face during contractions, and my doula instincts kicked in as I encouraged relaxation, promising that it really would hurt less if she relaxed!

Thier midwife, Julie, arrived at around 12:30 with a calm and confident presence, and it was amazing how she blended seemlessly into this couple's labor. She got her things arranged on a chair in the bedroom, and showed me what each thing was in case she needed me to hand something to her (pitocin in case of hemmorage, suction tube for baby, oxygen tank, etc.). And then we waited. There was no unnecessary checking of the cervix, no hussle and bustle, no beeping machines.

Her mom and her sister arrived for help and support, and we filled the birth tub with warm water. Everyone was focused on helping Karen, and creating a comfortable and safe environment for her birth. Several hours later contractions started getting noticeably more difficult. At first, Karen would cope by stating simply "relax, relax"--almost as a reminder to herself. As it got more difficult to her, she would simply say "pain," or "hurt" as each contraction began, and then "relax." Since labor was obviously progressing, Julie decided to check her, and found that she was 7 centimeters! By this time the tub was full and warm, so Karen labored there for a long while. "It kills," "It's killing me," her chants shifted as she was deep into the hardest part of her labor. But it wasn't a cry of hopelessness or suffering. She remained present and in-the-moment, and was simply being raw and honest about the pain she was experiencing. We all empathized with her, and gently reminded her that it wasn't killing her, but bringing life. Her sister prayed for strength and comfort, and Karen called out to God as well.

Julie and I decided to leave the room and let Mark and Karen have some time to themselves before the birth of their baby. Thirty minutes later Julie decided to check her again, and found that she was completely dilated! Pushing was unusually long and difficult for a second-time mom, and after a while Julie wanted her to walk up and down the stairs a few times to encourage the baby's descent through her pelvis. She pushed in a variety of positions--lying on her side, squatting, and leaning on the bed. Finally the baby was close to being born, and Karen was lying on her side in her bed. During a particularly strong push, her water broke! Several contractions later, she pushed her baby down, and the head emerged! It was an exciting moment, but after a few more strong pushes the rest of the baby's body did not come. "Hands and knees, hands and knees," Julie commanded, collected but urgently. Karen turned over as quickly as possible, and Julie used her hands to help rotate the baby's shoulders, and hooked her finger under the armpit to help bring the baby out.

Audra Joy was born safely at home at 5:30 am. She was placed under her mother, who was still on hands and knees, and immediately latched on to nurse! We cleaned up all around them as they got situated in the bed. There was no rush to clamp the cord, and Julie made sure it had finished pulsing before she did so. The placenta took a while to detach, but it finally did and came out intact (and I got to hold it!!)

Today Julie wrote in an e-mail to me, "You saw a shoulder dystocia handled just fine at home. Baby and mom just fine. It is always such a big hassle in the hosp because most times mom has an epidural that inhibits her from moving onto hand and knees if needed. These situations can be hairy but resolved safely without being rough with the baby." People assume that hospital birth is a much safer option, but I observed the opposite. If this mom was in the hospital and had an epidural, the outcome could have been dire.

Mark and Karen were anything but reckless, or selfish, or extreme people; they were a kind, loving, and educated couple. They worked beautifully together to bring life into the world in the comfort and safety of their home, with the help of their family and midwife. Driving home I realized that though viewed as a radical choice, homebirth truly is extraordinarily normal event.

My Dilemma

My daughter turned two just before Christmas, and I can just feel it. Everyone is waiting for another big announcement.

It's true that my husband and I are starting to think about number two. But ideally, before I get pregnant again, I'd like to know where and with whom I plan to give birth.

With my first pregnancy, it was a given. We chose OB's for our prenatal care and gave birth in a hospital--any other type of birth was just not on the radar. I used the nine months of my pregnancy to get informed about birth, and decided I wanted a natural birth for a slew of reasons... but I really didn't know a lot! I had no idea that the c-section rate for our country (and my chosen hospital) was over 30%. I didn't know what pitocin was. And I thought doulas were for women who weren't confident in their husbands ability to support them in labor.

Against all odds, I was blessed with an amazing birth experience in the hospital, in spite of its routine procedures and distractions. My labor started spontaneously at 38 weeks on the nose, and I was able to stay at home until I was 7cm dilated, enabling me to have a truly intervention-free birth!

Since becomming a doula, though, I have realized many sad realities of the way birth is treated in our country--both through reading books and from firsthand experience as a doula. So despite my great experience in the hospital the first time around, I am plagued with the knowledge of what could happen should things not go as smoothly for me as they did the first time.

I've thought and thought about my options (and regretted the lack thereof), and I just cannot decide. Some days (usually after attending a hospital birth) I think, "No way. I am not doing that again." Other days, I feel like homebirth is just not worth the hassle.

So I thought it'd be helpful to write out a list of pros and cons. Here they are:

Hospital Birth.

Pros:

• I've done it once and had a great experience. I could probably do it again.
• I really do like my OB's, in spite of the way they sometimes practice.
• The hospital is equipped with a level 2 nursery should my baby need immediate medical attention.
• Both my doctor's office and the hospital are a mere 3-minute drive from my front door.
• Insurance would undoubtedly cover our expenses.
• Maid service.
• Room service.

Cons:

• One in three pregnant women who walks into our hospital walks out with a scar on her stomach. C-sections have many risks, the greatest of which is maternal death (which is why our nation's maternal mortality rate is shockingly high).
• Pitocin (which is not even approved by the FDA for non-medical induction NOR have any studies been published on its long-term affects on mom or baby) is given without a second thought to a large majority of laboring women.
• Because I will probably be diagnosed with gestational diabetes again, the doctors will threaten induction at 38 or 39 weeks. Now I know that I can refuse to be induced, (and I believe that in most cases induction is more risky than waiting for labor to begin on its own). But I've seen how much stress is caused by women butting heads with their doctors at the end of pregnancy. It can be so so stressful and terribly unhealthy.
• If my water breaks before labor begins, I will be on the clock. (They say a woman has 24 hours to deliver after her water has broken because of "risk of infection.") What she usually doesn't know is that if she is at home, and there are no doctors sticking their fingers up her vagina, the risk of infection is next to nothing. AND labor almost always starts up naturally within 48 hours.
• I will be cared for under the medical model of care as opposed to the midwifery model of care.

Homebirth.

Pros:

• My primary caregiver will be a midwife. This in itself is a very enticing factor.
• I will be cared for under the midwifery model of care as opposed to the medical model of care
• Statistically, planned homebirths are just as safe for babies, and are actually safer for moms.
• Countries where homebirth is normal and common have WAY better outcomes than we do in the United States.
• I will be able to spend my entire labor in the comfort of my home.
• Family members (my mom & my sister) will be able to be a huge support and help to me during my labor.
• I could labor and/or give birth in a tub.
• I will be in my own clothes.
• I will be able to eat and drink freely.
• My daughter could be involved with the birth, depending on the time of day.

Cons:

• Having to deal with the hassle of well-meaning albeit ill-informed friends and family members.
• If my baby needs intense and immediate medical care, I won't be at a hospital. (Although midwives are equipped to deal with most medical emergencies and our hospital is a mere three minutes away).
• The closest legal midwife is about an hour away. That means driving an hour for each prenatal visit, and risking that she may not make it in time if I have a quick labor (which I likely will).
• The closest "underground" midwife (that I know of) is about 30 minutes away. If I choose her, our chances of insurance covering the birth are slim to none. Plus my husband is uneasy about hiring an underground midwife (despite the fact that these midwives are legal in over half of the 50 states).

So there you have it. Honestly, I'm not 100% comfortable with either option, and ideally would choose a birth center for our next birth if it were an option. (The closest one is in Oak Park--an hour away, depending on traffic). There, I would be cared for by midwives in a home-like setting, in a facility that would be able to handle any unforseen medical emergencies. Another option would be seeing an OB in Sandwich (30 minutes away) who is not quite as intervention-happy as the OB's here in DeKalb, and would truly support me in my desires for a natural birth. (The C-section rate at his hospital is 24%). I could also see midwives who practice at a hospital in Aurora.

Aargh. I hate having to make this decision. I guess I'll do a little more reading and interview a few more midwives and that OB from Sandwich, and trust that my path will be made clear. There's really no rush to make a decision... at least not for now :)